Monday, March 06, 2006

Christina's Oscar Fashion Review

Yes, another awards show = another fashion review.
My new name is Christinacris (ie ludacris).

The WHAT landed on my shoulder/thank god I'm in a aisle seat award:
Charlize Theron

Sweetie, you are gorgeous.
Why must you invoke the 1980's style GIANT BOW and of all places, on your shoulder?

Plus, I think you have over tanned/glowed again.

Worst Dressed Couple: Paul Giamatti and wife (?)
I can't even write about this I am so appalled? What is this the White Trash Oscars?

Where did she get that top? Ross ? Marshalls?
And what is with the color scheme?
And Paul, you look like ass with the facial hair. I know it is for a role, but lord, comb it!

Runner up: Phillip Seymour Hoffman and companion

The I'm a canary with bad lipstick award: Michelle Williams
Even though every other fashionista is saying Michelle was fierce in this dress, Christinacris is going to disagree. Michelle is WAY TO PASTY to wear this color. As a lifetime member as, I can advise michelle on better color options. The lipstick and hair are a disaster too.

The HOOTERS award to none other than Dolly Parton

How does Dolly stay upright? She is SO tiny everywhere else but...well you know where.

The WORST use of cropped pants at a formal awards ceremony: Lauren Hutton

I'm not sure WHAT is happening here but the WHOLE THING is a BIG DISASTER!

What is with the little pompom's at the hem?
And the bag? around the waist?


The I'm a skinny ghost award: Nicole Kidman

Is she really there? I'm not sure I can see her!!!!

The separation has made me skinny award: Hilary Swank

Not only is the photo small...but I swear the girl has had a rib or 12 removed!
Reconcile with Chad!!!!

The Goddess Award: Uma Thurman

Note to Nicole, this is how you where light colors!

Most improved (while pregnant): Rachel Weisz

Please see my Golden Globe Blog from Jan archives for real vision of just how far Ms Weisz has come! BRAVA!

The put down the BEDAZZLER award: Reese Witherspoon

The top of the dress is lovely. The bottom is one big mess.
Reese is also a bit too pasty(do I sense a theme) for this color

Best Dressed Men (ie a sandwich I would like to be in) George and Jake





Best dressed females: A Trifecta of Gorgeousness, Jessica Alba, Salma Hayek and Keira Knightly

Ms Alba hits my best dressed two award shows in a row. The gold is magnifique, the lace pattern delicate. Party hair, nice glow...the whole package.
I just love the color of Kiera's dress and her "smokey eyes."
And then, there is Miss Salma Hayek. Perfect color to highlight you dark hair. Fits beautifully! A++++

All in all, I found the fashion kind of drab and dull. I say, bring back Bjork!

1 comment:

Merrill Mason said...

Excellent analysis! Lauren Hutton was a SHOCK. What's with the Turkish sporran? Did doing too many Ralph Lauren ads drive her to this?