Tuesday, November 08, 2005

INSOMNIA

I am wicked crazy frustrated with my sleep issues
I was up ALL FRICKIN NIGHT last night...I would doze off and then wake again. It was horrible. And the TV last night, oye. Did you know that with appropriate investments and a training course from "INVESTMENTS 3000" I can make an average of $30000 a month.

I had a moment though this morning and realized that last night's episode of insomnia was the result of workplace related anxiety that is making me ill to think about. On top of it, I didn't process what had happenend with anyone last night, thus internalizing all of these negativities and anxieties about how/if I can continue to work at HUP if some things don't change.

I draw parallels to my education (pre-college), when I was BORED at school, didn't complete assisgnments, pay attention in class (ADD) etc and was then pigeonholed into the "average" group of students. I am bored at work. I cannot continue to operate in this capacity much longer. When given a ray of light, to work more closely with the SYMPAC team, I was hopeful. This hope was dashed in a one hour lunch meeting by one psychotic person who clearly doesnt play well with others. All in all, I'm feeling stuck in the mud, unchallenged, bored, anxious, and without much hope that it can or will get any better. OYE

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